How to NOT get there faster: A Short Story & 'How to' Post

It was a dark and dreary evening as I was driving my 45 minute commute from work. I remember it like it was Friday, November 16th. Wait a minute.. that is when it was. I will admit that at the time it seemed to be just like any other day. But today was different, very different indeed. I pulled into my covered parking spot, grabbed my messenger bag and headed inside. There was a heavy fog in the air, not unlike what you might expect on an evening such as this. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and began to put them in the door. BAM! I had forgotten to check my mail. I walked over to the mailbox and opened the door. Much to my delight it was full of mail. Much to my dismay all of them were bills. All except for one. It was a larger envelope than the rest and it was amazing. Right on the front of the envelope slightly above my address were the words of glory:

"I gave you a $1 Oil-Stock - It went to $100: Your NEXT $Million is Inside."

Holy mother, I'm going to be rich. I grabbed the mail and went inside. After a swift removal of jacket and discarding of messenger bag I excitedly opened my new letter from a dude (my new best friend) who wanted to make me rich. I opened it and this is what I found:

From the desk of Scott S. Fraser
Editor, Elite Stock-Market Advisory

Dear Elite,

I continue to prove over and over again: "When I tell you to buy a stock - YOU make a lot of money!" You no doubt receive several stock recommendations a week with wild claims of potential profits. But, as you will see in the opening of the enclosed report my winning track record uniquely qualifies me to make this call-to-profi.. yada yada yada.

Petro-South Energy (PSEG) is about to make a major upward share-price move.

Okay friends, this is where the story ends. No I was not actually excited when I received this in the mail. Anyone who's ever heard the expression 'tips are for waiters' will know what I'm talking about. There are only two steps to this 'How to' article as to 'How to NOT get there faster' and it is this:

Step 1: Listen to crazy guy sending you hot stock tips via junk mail.
Step 2: Lose money.

Here is the low down. Mr. Scott S. Fraser recommended in his letter to me that I purchase PSEG at ANY price lower than $2.50 a share. Being curious, I hopped onto Scottrade and checked it out. PSEG closed at $2.04 per share that day. Here we are two weeks later and as I sat here thinking about todays post I thought 'Hey, I wonder how PSEG is doing. Just 2 weeks and 3 days after our buddies' recommendation PSEG plummeted to $1.50 per share. Had you invested your money when this guy said to you would have lost over 25% of your money. Ouch, big no-no. Now I'm not saying that it won't go back up at some point, but who knows.

Lesson of the day: Tips are for waiters & waitresses, not traders or investors.

This article is part of How2Blogger’s Super Sexy Holiday ‘How To’ Contest which you can see at How2Blogger’s ‘How To’ site.